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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Honey Dijon Pistachio Encrusted Steak

I went to the Gin Mill this weekend. If you're not from Denver or are not sure what the hell that is, I'll explain it. It's a sh*t ass bar. It sucks ass. It's one of those bars you need to be hammered ass drunk at to even be slightly comfortable. I just said ass 3 times in 3 sentences. Unneeded. Anywho, Gin Mill is a bar meant specifically for people who want to get stupid hammered and go home with someone else who is stupid hammered. It's kind of like a frat party. With less attractive people. Personally, I think it blows. Maybe it's because I was sober or maybe it's because I got majorly dissed by some douche bag guys, either way, it sucked. It takes a lot of balls for me try to squeeze into disgustingly tight jeans, go out to the bars sober, and act somewhat interested in what the drunk people have to say. So getting dissed in the meantime didn't exactly make me thrilled about the situation. Thankfully I had a sober roommate near by. Good ole Laura was great as always and made me smile after our night out while we made almond meal pancakes and watched the Food Network. Let's be realistic, that's all I was actually thinking about while I was at the bar.

So here's my dilemma. I don't really like to go to bars that often. People kind of suck. The last few times I've gone out, I've got pretty hated on by dudes. First, I was told I was pale. Then, I was told I was not hot. What the sh*t is that?! When did it become socially acceptable to say mean things to random people? The problem is though, when you stay inside like a hermit crab on a Friday or Saturday night, you tend to get looked at as anti social. Understandable. I really do like social interaction. I like most people. Just not douche bags. So, do I stay in cooking and watching the Food Network with pajamas on and zit cream applied? Or do I act like I enjoy being around people who can barely get the words out of their mouth to even hit on Laura? Hmmmmm, the intense issues I face every weekend. I think I'll stick to bars outside of Denver that are based around dancing. And attractive males. Who wear CrossFit shirts. And CrossFit. Daily.

What you need:
  • 4-6 ribeye steaks
  • 1 cup raw, shelled pistachios
  • 1/2 cup dijon mustard
  • 3 tablespoons honey
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon mustard seed
  • 1/4 teaspoon ginger
  • salt and pepper, to taste
What you do:
  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Put your shelled pistachios in a blender or food processor and pulse until pistachios have broken down and they are a bit meal-y and chunky. Good ole chunks. Place in a shallow dish.
  3. Mix together your dijon mustard and honey in a small bowl.
  4. Use another small bowl to mix together your spices.
  5. Cover your steaks with the spices and salt and pepper.
  6. Use a basting brush to glaze one side of the steak with honey dijon, then transfer the glazed side to the ground pistachios, then glazing the other side and flipping it over into the ground pistachios.
  7. Place steaks on a cookie sheet. If you line it with parchment paper, it will be easy clean up.
  8. Bake for about 15-25 minutes, depending on how thick your steaks are and how well done you like them. Just keep an eye on them. A good way to test how cooked the steaks are is a finger poke. If you poke the middle and it sinks in like a infants fat ankles, it's still not very cooked. If you poke it, and it barely sinks in, it's cooked a bit more. Be smarter than the steak.
  9. Eat.

9 comments:

  1. This is ridiculously awesome. The Civilized Caveman bows to your feet :)

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  2. Denver has pretty much the worst scene ever... Let's set up a weekly Saturday night workout. Somewhere around 8pm or 9pm so we will be too smoked and gross to go to the bars. Gin Mill blows so bad. Glad to see a spade get called a spade.

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  3. Denver is still better than Phoenix.

    Juli, those douche bags suck. They are probably intimidated by you. You can kick their ass. I bet these guys had scrawny arms, chicken legs and beer guts. I mean, really, how attractive were they that they thought they could insult you? Here's a stupid male tactic: Douchebag finds a girl he's attracted to and doesn't have a chance with. He tells her that she isn't all that. There are some insecure idiots who will fall for this and think it's a challenge to try to get that guy and throw themselves at him. Or it might just be the typical loser mentality where a guy knows he doesn't have a chance so he rejects you before you can reject him. But in order for that to happen, you would have to acknowledge his existence and the only way for him to accomplish this is to insult you. You wouldn't have paid him any mind otherwise. You know you're beautiful, strong, intelligent, and freakin hilarious. You're not some insecure dingbat who is easy to manipulate. Insecure men feed off insecurity and are frightened of confident women.

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  4. ... And why do you go out to bars like this, anyway? You deserve better! Speaking of better, it's still grilling season down in Texas. We put everything on the grill, so I'm trying this recipe outside and with beef tenderloin, although ribeye is king of beef! I don't see any green stuff in that pic... What... No broccoli?

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  5. Granted, it's been a long time since I've had to worry about dating, but aren't there other places to go besides the bars to meet guys? Athletic events? (Avalanche, Rockies, local Rugby games, Lacrosse, DU events, etc?) Some of the 'not Starbucks' coffee places?

    Honest question.

    Oh yeah - the comments - that's the stupid alcohol talking. They see themselves being humbled or humiliated (whether they are or not - doesn't really matter) and the ignorant retorts start. It really is a defense mechanism.

    You need to start playing the meek female - haha...

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  6. I hate Gin Mill too... never had fun there. Honestly, the only place I have true fun is Blake St. WHERE THE EFF HAVE YOU BEEN by the way?!

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  7. I started writing this comment apologizing for my half of the species then realized that those guys are a different, sub-species. I saw a program on the discovery channel recently about a lake with several different species of fish specific to that lake. They all came from the same original fish but now some are weaker and some are stronger. The weak fish can't mate with the strong fish. I'm going to propose a name chages for those fish... One species is the "DoucheBagGuyInABar" weak fish. The other is "HotStrongChickShouldOnlyGoOutWithDecentGuys" strong fish. I've seen you at a couple of CrossFit events, you're the strong fish!

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  8. You guys are all so great :)

    Colorado Steve--I hate sports so games are out. I REALLY like coffee. I'll start hitting on guys at coffee shops. Watch out Denver Coffee shops.

    Aaron--You're right, I do need a strong decent fish to mate with. I'd be cool with that. Send them my way.

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  9. Rebecca--
    Don't worry. Broccoli consumption is still at an all time high. My roommate can confirm that. She loves waking up to that smell daily

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