Cauliflower Rice Stuffed Acorn Squash

So I kinda walk funny. I might call it a strut but then id be lying to myself…and to all of you who haven’t seen my awkward ass waddle. I’m quite self conscious about it. I walk like a duck…or a dude…or an idiot, really. It all depends on the day. And how long I sat on a rower. I blame it on my ass. This guy is hard to move around. It has a mind of it’s own. When your weight is so far shifted to the right, shifting your weight back to your left can be very difficult. Hence my waddle. Just imagine what I must look like running. Jesus.

So why am I talking about my walk? Because, it snowed today. I’m annoyed. It’s really cold. I support snow in the mountains, that makes sense. But downtown, screw that. My feet are cold, I have to wear pants, and it’s hard to text with mittens. Dumb. So I purchased some new ugg type boots. Never will I ever purchase the real sh*t. Brand names are overrated. And stupid. But with these boots, my waddle is extremely intensified. Hilarious sh*t.  Anyways, I’m protesting winter. I still plan on wearing spandex shorts and a sports bra during every wod. I don’t care how many people think I’m an idiot. You’re the idiot, my friend. Train for the unknown, right? If they ever have a competition in the freezer section at Costco, I’ll be ready. Who doesn’t love a little wod hypothermia?

Now that I’ve covered as many random topics as possible, let’s talk about what you came here for. This recipe tastes like Thanksgiving. Seriously though, I’m going to make it ON Thanksgiving day. Even Jason and Jake liked it. Grown ass, studly men liking my random crap food!?! Beautiful. I’m not sure their standards are super high though...they usually eat with silverware that they cleaned with Clorox wipes or with their hands that have not been washed since our wod. I love the taste of chalk.

What you need:

• 2 acorn squash, halved and seeded
• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1-1.5 lbs ground beef
• 1 package of mushrooms (any kind will do-I used buttons)
• 1 apple, diced
• 1 yellow onion, diced
• 1/2 cup pecans, chopped
• 2 tablespoons coconut aminos
• 1/4 cup coconut milk
• 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon dried minced garlic
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ginger
• salt and pepper, to taste

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Cut acorn squash in half and pull out of the seeds. Place open side down on a cookie sheet or baking dish and bake for about 40 minutes or until you press on the outside skin and it gives a bit.
3. While the squash cooks, rice your cauliflower by throwing it in a food processor. I used a shredding attachment to better rice the cauliflower. 
4. Once the cauliflower is riced down, add your cauliflower to a saucepan over medium heat, along with 2 tablespoons of water and 2 tablespoons of coconut aminos. 
5. While your rice is cooking, pull out a large skillet and add your chopped onions and apples. Let cook for about 3 minutes then add ground beef. Cook until beef is half way cooked through, then add in mushrooms. 
6. Let ingredients cook down for a bit longer, then add your seasonings, coconut milk, and vinegars to the saucepan. Mix thoroughly.
7. When the cauliflower rice and beef mixture is also done cooking, add the two of them together in either a large bowl or directly to the beef pan if there is room. Add your chopped pecans to the mixture.
8. Once the squash is done cooking, turn squash over, stuff with beef and rice mixture into your squash.
9. Bake uncovered for around 8 minutes or until heated through. 

bloody good.

clorox utensil

jake loves broccoli just as much as me :) it's because we're related