Paleo Pizzas

I really did want to go out this past weekend, I swear I did. But alas, thinking about trying on outfits that don't fit, while trying to look normal without a headband on, and knowing my couch is only 2ft away with the Food Network ready to go....yeah, going out downtown definitely didn't happen.

INSTEAD, I stayed in with my hungover girlfriends, watched entertaining movies, and ate mass amounts of food. We started off the afternoon with the movie 'Burlesque'...this is the third time I've seen it and yes, I absolutely LOVE it...every time. We then watched 'How to Train a Dragon' and couldn't stop smiling. Holy sh*t that movie is ADORABLE. No seriously, I giggled with joy throughout all of it. If I was dumb enough to have kids, I would show them this movie. Cute message.

And because all the girls were having a hangover Saturday, they decided they wanted to have pizza. As soon as I heard that, I knew I was going to have to make my own food. I'm absolutely down for cheat meals, and cheat on my diet on a regular basis, but pizza would KILL me. And I would be 6 lbs heavier as soon as bread hit my saliva. I'm not even kidding. Saddlebags are an often occurrence whenever cheats come into my diet. So I went in paleo mode and tried a different kind of paleo pizza.  And I decided to splurge with some goat cheese...I knew I'd only gain 2 lbs from the dairy. Life is all about choices people.

This first pizza is a crap ton of random ingredients that all work very well together. I think so at least. But that's because I have really good taste.
The second pizza is a pizza I made specifically for Laura. She's so great. And she likes breakfast. And eggs.

Paleo Fall Pizza

What you need:
For the pizza dough-

• 1/2 cup coconut flour
• 3 eggs
• 1 can coconut milk
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper

For the pizza toppings-

• 1/2 pound uncured bacon, chopped
• 1 small delicata pumpkin, peeled and chopped
• 1 granny smith apple, cored and sliced
• 1 6oz package of goat cheese (go raw if you can--I didn't thought, so I won't judge you)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon

What you do:
First make you dough-

1. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, first add your dry ingredients and combine together (coconut flour, seasonings, baking soda and powder).
3. Then add wet ingredients to the bowl: eggs and coconut milk. Mix all ingredients together and let sit for around 2 minutes to let thicken. The dough will be more like a batter. Don't freak.
4. Lay parchment paper down on a cookie sheet and pour the batter on the sheet. Use a spoon to smooth it out, evenly. 
5. Bake for 20-22 minutes. Once it is golden brown, use the parchment paper to flip the pizza crust over onto the cookie sheet. Be careful, it can get ugly. Breaking easily. You were warned.

While the crust is baking, cook up your toppings-

1. Put a large skillet over medium-high heat and add your chopped bacon to it.
2. Once the bacon begins to cook and the fat begins to seep out, add your chopped apples and pumpkin to the skillet.
3. Cook all ingredients until apples and pumpkin are soft and bacon is cooked through.
4. Once the crust is baked and flipped, top with olive oil, spoonfuls of goat cheese, and the bacon, apple, and pumpkin mixture on top.
5. Turn on the broiler and put the pizza back in the oven 2 minutes until top is perfectly cooked.

Hungover Saturdays call for crappy pictures. Too bad I don't have the excuse of being hungover. So I'm just a terrible photographer.

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Paleo Breakfast Pizza

What you need:
For the pizza dough-

• 1/2 cup coconut flour
• 3 eggs
• 1 can coconut milk
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon rosemary
• 1/4 teaspoon tarragon
• 1/4 teaspoon basil
• 1/4 teaspoon sage

For the pizza toppings:

• 9 eggs, whisked
• 1/2 lb breakfast sausage
• 1 red onion, sliced
• 8-10 sundried tomatoes, sliced
• 1 bundle asparagus, chopped
• 6-8 garlic cloves, peeled
• 3 tablespoons olive oil

What you do:
First make you dough-

1. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, first add your dry ingredients and combine together (coconut flour, seasonings, baking soda and powder).
3. Then add wet ingredients to the bowl: eggs and coconut milk. Mix all ingredients together and let sit for around 2 minutes to let thicken. The dough will be more like a batter. Don't freak.
4. Lay parchment paper down on a cookie sheet and pour the batter on the sheet. Use a spoon to smooth it out, evenly. 
5. Bake for 20-22 minutes. Once it is golden brown, use the parchment paper to flip the pizza crust over onto the cookie sheet. Be careful, it can get ugly. Breaks easily. You were warned.

While the crust is baking, cook up your toppings-

1. Put a large skillet over medium-high heat and cook your breakfast sausage through. Once fully cooked, place on a plate to the side while you cook your other ingredients.
2. Now add one tablespoon of olive oil to your used skillet, along with your onions to begin to caramelize. Stir occasionally to be sure they don't burn.
3. While the onions caramelize, grab out a small pot, add a bit of olive oil to it along with your asparagus, garlic cloves, and sundried tomatoes. Mix to coat and pour in 1 tablespoon of water and cover to steam.
4. When your onions are done caramelizing, and your asparagus is tender, remove from heat and place onions with the breakfast sausage. 
5. Last thing you'll need to cook is your eggs so crack them directly to your used skillet and use spatula to scramble those little boogers.
6. Once the crust is baked and flipped, top with olive oil, scrambled eggs, breakfast sausage, onions, garlic cloves, asparagus, and sundried tomatoes on top.
7. Turn on the broiler on high and put the pizza back in the oven for 2-3 minutes until top is perfectly cooked.

I know, I know. The pictures suck ass. But my roommate will proclaim that it tasted delicious.